Fortunately these modern times allow men to be impaled at the tip of pens instead - a situation JP exploits to the fullest.
While Tommy may be the ultimate master of social etiquette, JP is the master of awkward moments and conversation - speaking of things most people would gladly avoid.
JP is the undisputed legal expert of Sautern Enterprise, an immensely bizarre achievement because he was only suppose to be the resident English expert.
Due to an over-exposure of solar radiation early in his childhood as a result of ozone depletion in the upper atmosphere, his mind has been physically altered to that of a monstrously obsessive individual with a penchant for learning things others will almost always ignore.
A supernova explosion in the Crab
Nebula also transformed JP into a treehugger who enjoys watching reruns of Nodame Cantabile.
While the birth of Gandhi and Himura Kenshin inspired him to celibacy and honour. Yes, that makes him an honourable green-otaku-celibate.
What utter irony that the most noble of human values have created a creature so inhuman.
But his command of English is still good enough to keep him employed here.
Besides, how many lawyers would work three years writing and deciphering legal documents for food?